Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
