i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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