It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
