You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
