I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Me too!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize