talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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