I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
