Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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