Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
