So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
