I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
