Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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