So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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