i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Can you bring me the toilet please
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
