so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
