I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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