I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize