Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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