You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
