Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
