we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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