you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
