He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
