who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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