Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize