after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just want nice things and good sex
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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