only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
