I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
