he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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