he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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