Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
