How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
