just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
