everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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