It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This baby is an asshole
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
