is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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