Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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