And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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