I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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