I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
