Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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