ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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