Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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