It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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