a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
