Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
