He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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