...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
