mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
