You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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