We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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