i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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