As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
