Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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