I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just want nice things and good sex
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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