Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
