We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
