She is in my trunk
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
