are you still at the devil's house?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
