It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
