Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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