He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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