i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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