I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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