thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
