butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
