So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
