Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
