That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
