dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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