you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
