Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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