For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
