That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
