you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize